I have to admit something publicly today. I've been reading about the power of confession, so I'm going to practice. I wish that I could be the type of person who really, truly, was a servant, with a humble heart who was willing to serve in any way, shape or form, and not expect to have any kind of recognition from the people around me! But today, I failed miserably at it.
There are a lot of "big-wigs" from my organization here this week for some big meetings. Of course, they're all staying in the guesthouse, which me and Jackie are NOT the managers of... but since there's no one else to manage the guesthouse, we are the managers. Sigh. We've already fielded a few complaints about the cleanliness of the guesthouse... but we're really doing the best we can, and even with a full time manager, it's just impossible to keep things spic and span around here. So I've been feeling slightly under-appreciated for everything that me and Jackie have been doing around here to keep this place running.
And then, today, at 6pm, just as I was closing up my computer for the evening, I saw a stream running from the bathroom out through my office and one of the guestrooms, and into the veranda. I put out a mayday "SOS" call to Richard, and he came running towards the toilet, which is where all the water was pouring up from. Yup, up from. There was a back-up somewhere along the line between the toilet and the septic tank... and it was all coming back up the toilet. So Richard had to start digging in the back, to figure out where the plug was, and I had to start mopping in the house. It took me over an hour of mopping (with lots of bleach!) to clean up the yucky water that was pouring through the house.
And I noticed about 45 minutes into my mopping that the whole time, I had been looking around, waiting for some big-wig to notice my servant leadership, my humble heart that was so willing to help where needed, my smiling, happy attitude at being able to do the dirtiest job, to really be the lowest of the low. I was waiting for some sort of recognition of the crappiest job that I was doing, so that someone would take notice and say what a wonderful person I was.
But then I felt so convicted that I was obviously doing it for the wrong reasons. I mean, I really DO want to be a person who doesn't seek recognition from the people around me. I just want to seek the recognition of Christ, to please and honor Him in all that I do - whether it's making a presentation about the value and worth of Mother Tongue education, talking with Ministers in the government, or mopping up sewage from the guesthouse! I just want to do things humbly, in His service, to bring Him glory, and not to seek glory for myself. So please pray with me that I can do that - because I have a feeling there's going to be a lot more sewage to mop up before I'm done in this country!
3 comments:
Funny how one day you are listening to John Piper tell you to sacrifice for the Kingdom, and the next you are mopping toilet water! Ha! ....and I am certain that the hanging of towel racks will ultimately be important in the development of S. Sudan - just you wait and see! Blessings to all that are serving with you there on the compound - Annie Halland
Here is an excerpt from a blog I was reading today, the woman began by describing a gift someone gave her when she was feeling rather un-noticed for all the sacrificing she did....
"It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: “To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.”
In the days ahead I would read — no, devour — the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals– we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, “Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.”
And the workman replied, “Because God sees.”
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, “I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.”
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree."
Had dinner with the Aringa team Tuesday night. Remember Barnabas and Andrew that were there for planning meetings last year? Well, I remembered Barnabas but not really Andrew. You know what they remember about planning meetings? Us serving them and feeding them soup!! Yup, that was mentioned many times - it made a difference to them even tho at the time you and I had no idea! Andrew did mention several times how HOT it was there but what they remember the most was your service and feeding them! This encouraged them. I have a feeling they might be a little dissapointed this time when they show up and Grace is cooking for them...
Well, hang in there good buddy. You're not alone!
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